The hidden conversations you're having

sent by  F R E D   V A N   R I P E R      |      March 9, 2025

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You think you're not communicating about domestic life?

I promise you—you are.

The question isn't if you're communicating. It's how.

Eve Rodsky puts it bluntly: "The problem with invisible labor is it's invisible."

Same goes for communication.

You don't have to say anything for your partner to get the message. Every sigh, every eye roll, every moment of silence? It speaks.

Louder than you think.

1 Skill: Make the Invisible Visible

You're already communicating through:

• The way you shut down when you're overwhelmed
• The way you expect them to "just know" what you need
• The way you mentally keep score but never actually address the imbalance

The strongest couples see these patterns before they cause resentment. They make the invisible visible.

1 Mindset Shift: Talking More ≠ Communicating Better

A couple on Instagram shared their exact playbook for handling tough conversations:

1. Right time. No starting serious talks at 11 p.m. or mid-work call.
2. Consent first. "Are you in the right headspace for this?"
3. Respect processing time. Not everyone has words ready on demand.

Early in their marriage, they fought constantly because one wanted immediate answers while the other needed time to process.

Now? He takes time. She respects it. They actually hear each other.

1 Action Step: Call Out Your Hidden Signals

This week, pay attention to how you're already communicating.

👉 What message are you sending without saying a word?

👉 What expectations are going unspoken?

👉 What patterns keep showing up in conflict?

The hard truth? You are communicating. The only question is: Is it working for you or against you?

Let's fix that.

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