If you don't see it, you're not alone.
If you feel it but can't get rid of it, you're not alone either.
Here's the thing about elephants: our relationships would thrive if we could emulate their behaviors rather than having them invisibly lingering in our homes.
The invisible, ongoing mental and emotional labor involved in managing a household, family and relationship IS the elephant.
It's likely living rent-free in your home, taking up space and creating strain.
So, how can you get this beast of burden to leave so you can excitedly scream "The Elephant Has Left The Room!" Or, more realistically, how can you and your partner quietly acknowledge its presence and work together to make it go away?
While this elephant isn't visible, its effects are undeniable: stress, anxiety, arguments, imbalance, misalignment.
Lack of space, lack of oxygen, the weight, the pressure . . .
If you're struggling with relationship issues and don't address the imbalance of the mental and emotional load, the elephant will remain.
Today, I urge you to acknowledge the elephant, recognize it's impact, and take action to evict it.
Let's dig in.
We want the elephant to disappear from our homes, but we can also learn from their admirable qualities to enrich our relationships.
Here are a few amazing elephant traits to consider inserting into your relationship:
Adopt these traits to enrich your relationship, and evict the weight of the metaphorical elephant.
Here's your 3 Point Advantage:
You cannot remove something without first acknowledging its existence.
Knowledge alone isn't power; it's potential power. True acknowledgement requires unveiling the truth and bringing the metaphorical elephant in the room into view.
For many couples, extending an invitation to the table without judgment can be one of the most challenging steps.
When mental load goes unseen and unaddressed, it leads to burnout, resentment, and imbalance.
To unlock the potential power of knowledge and expose the elephant, you need to seek resources with an open mind.
Resistance is a form of information. Often, it's our egos that hinder our personal, professional, and relational growth.
If you're interested in resources to help you through this process, just reply to this email -- I read every message and respond personally.
The Fair Play framework revolutionizes relationship equity.
In any successful partnership, whether business or personal, both partners must play crucial roles and share the load.
Fair Play offers the language, visibility, and accountability needed to achieve this balance.
Are you ready to move beyond a guessing game filled with unclear rules and lingering resentments? Imagine a game where roles are defined, responsibilities are shared, and both partners feel valued and understood.
It's time to implement a system that makes this vision a reality.
The elephant remains in the room because the door to your relational growth is closed.
Sometimes, all it takes is to open that door.
Give yourself - and your partner and relationship - permission to take up more space and do hard things together.
As Alan Watts said, "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."
So, you haven't been the best partner or parent? That's okay. You can choose to start improving at any moment.
If it's time to confront yourself, do it. If you need support (which many people do), seek it out. That's a sign of strength.
You can hire me or another coach, attend counseling, read books, listen to podcasts, journal, or have a tough conversation with your partner.
The most critical step is to take action, harnessing the power of the knowledge you gain about mental and emotional load.
Whether it's a small or big step, commit to one daily action towards relational growth. Remember, "Where focus goes, energy flows." (Tony Robbins).
With each action, the door opens wider.
Not sure where to begin? Download my FREE "Relationship Rescue Kit: 3 Practices to Recenter Your Relationships"
Conclusion
Flip the switch.
You've probably heard people suggest that change is as simple as flipping a switch, only to find it's not that easy. This often sets us up for disappointment.
Next week, I'll introduce a new perspective on this concept - one that will significantly aid your personal and relational growth journey.
In the meantime, unburden yourself: commit to one action this week that will help you start addressing the elephant in your room. Aim to reach the point where you can confidently declare (at any volume) "The Elephant Has Left the Room."
See you next week.
Inward . . .
P.S. When you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
Courses, Coaching and Community for the Brave and the Building
